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Future Cauldron Lightings...


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OMG, ever since the thread on where the London cauldron be (and how will they light it), I have not been able to sleep; have been losing weight, and breaking out in rashes. Therefore, let's take it a few steps further, and how will the future host cities light their respective caulrdons?

- Sochi 2014?

- Chicago 2016?

- who will direct Ceremonies?

- who will light the Caudlron?

- PyongChang 2018?

- Capetown 2020?

- Reno-Tahoe 2022?

- Paris 2024?

Please!! I have to know NOW!!! A pair of Opening Ceremony tickets for Paris 2024 awaits the winnter!!

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actually I prefer the Big Mac, or even better Carl's Jr. teriyaki burger.

But anyway, I made that post to point out the absurdity of some people here trying to go 2 steps ahead of the present. I mean we barely know how Beijing will do it -- and I'm sure that's something Beijing is only dealing with in exactly the time frame we wonder (I mean they have to see their stadium complete first per the plans, before they can think of where to cut and insert a cauldron), and then there's Vancouver 3 years down the line, and here you guys are already thinking London. :rolleyes:

Yeah, no harm -- but it's really, really premature. To every thing there is a season and a reason.

psssst..... TOO FAR AHEAD! The powers that be wil get to that item eventually.

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OMG, ever since the thread on where the London cauldron be (and how will they light it), I have not been able to sleep; have been losing weight, and breaking out in rashes. Therefore, let's take it a few steps further, and how will the future host cities light their respective caulrdons?

- Sochi 2014?

- Chicago 2016?

- who will direct Ceremonies?

- who will light the Caudlron?

- PyongChang 2018?

- Capetown 2020?

- Reno-Tahoe 2022?

- Paris 2024?

Please!! I have to know NOW!!! A pair of Opening Ceremony tickets for Paris 2024 awaits the winnter!!

OK - Sochi.

A crude oil tanker will floatinto the stadium (thus the waterfront location), break up, spill oil everywhere on the field (of course the athletes will be gone by then) and Vitaly Schirbo will throw a flaming Chechen child into the crude, thus lighting the biggest Olympic flame ever! The hot rumour is Lenin and Stalin will both produce the ceremonies via ouija board with some imput from Ric Birch.

Chicago 2016 -

Will not happen as the games will be in Tokyo. I believe the cauldron will shaped like a seafood inari -

Inari-zushi.jpg

The outer casing will be covered in kerosine. A small Japanese boy will lob a teriyaki chicken skewer onto the inari - thus starting the flame and filing the stadium with the sweet aroma of charred Crab. The ceremony will be produced by Hello Kitty and Pikachu.

Pyeongchang 2018 -

Kim Il Jong (harro!) will actually invade Korea and by utilising nuclear weapons the whole of the Gangneung province will be aflame! How Olympic! The Games will be held in SLC where at the conclusion of the ceremony Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan will be given a flint, some sticks and a machete. As in 'Survivor' they will race to light a flame - and the winner as reward gets to chop up and roast the carcass of the loser. Obviously its bye bye time for Nancy as Tonya hacks away at her immediately. The ceremny will be produced by Quentin Tarantino - so you just know the voiceovers will go on and on.

Capetown 2020

Using cutting edge flaming 'shanty town' technology, the rapid expansion of the Cape Town ghettoes will be celebrated with a braii in the actual cauldron. Thus the flame will be lit by some guy called Ndredre a few hours prior to the ceremony so by the time the athletes are assembled the steaks will be ready. Oh, and Avril Lavigne will sing 'Girlfriend' just because she can. The ceremony will have no formal producer - however the Olympics themselves will be renamed to the Biko Sports Festival.

Reno Tahoe 2022

I am so utterly blanded out at the concept of this bid so lets just say some kids will sing, Tonya Harding - fresh from a 4 year reign of terror will be tied to a stake and set on fire by Brian Boitano at the conclusion of the main show. Avril will again be in attendence, warbling 'Skater Boi' for no apparent reason.

Paris 2024.

Ha! OK sure.

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I have it on good authority that if Chicago wins 2016, the Olympic Flame is set to recreate Torino's pathetic pyrotechnic lighting but instead, will also set the entire city ablaze to recreate the 1871 Great Chicago Fire.

The world will be awed, London 2012 committee members will be kicking themselves because they could have done the same thing and recreated the Blitzkreig and the IOC will be so awed that they tell every other county (much to Innsbruk's chagrin) to not even bother bidding as Reno-Tahoe is being awarded 2022. :lol:

At which point Tonya Harding will be tied to a stake, Brian Boitano will light her, Avril Levigne will pretend she is American (much like Celine in '96), sing The Skaters Waltz and the IOC will be so wowed that they announce that Detroit is their choice for 2032.

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I have it on good authority that if Chicago wins 2016, the Olympic Flame is set to recreate Torino's pathetic pyrotechnic lighting but instead, will also set the entire city ablaze to recreate the 1871 Great Chicago Fire.

(Good one, LA. ;) ) But with Jacques Rogge in a Nero-type toga costume playing a lyre. Of course, London could've recreated its own great fire as well.

Rome gets 2028 on the premise that it too will burn the Italian capital down (the 7 hills are timed to the minute) and have Antonio Sabato play Nero and Monica Belluci as his mother; Abuja and Beijing burn their cities down in spite and hope that will place them in good stead for 2036.

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(Good one, LA. ;) ) But with Jacques Rogge in a Nero-type toga costume playing a lyre. Of course, London could've recreated its own great fire as well.

Of course, Rogge would only be President until 2013, at the latest, but whatever floats your boat...

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(Good one, LA. ;) ) But with Jacques Rogge in a Nero-type toga costume playing a lyre. Of course, London could've recreated its own great fire as well.

FFS sake Baron would you stop posting!!

First the Greek Earthquakes premonition and now this. It's kind of scary! :o

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FFS sake Baron would you stop posting!!

First the Greek Earthquakes premonition and now this. It's kind of scary! :o

Oh, sorry. Sometimes I can't help it -- Cassandra-Cayce-Merovingian carbuncles and all, ya know. :(

Of course, there will be a brighter, more positive outlook on things Olympic if somehow, someone secures an OC ticket for next year for me. (And I will pay for it, of course.) :)

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