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Do You Guys Have Any Good Quotes?


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I dunno why... but for some reason, I'm in the mood for GOOD QUOTES these days....

You guys know of any INSPIRATIONAL or WISE or HUMOROUS/WITTY quotes that you all can share?

THE BEST ONES PLEASE~

FOR EXAMPLE

Inspirational:

"You must do the things you think you cannot do."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

WISE:

"A journey of a thousand mile, begins with a single step"

- Old Chinese Proverb

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

- Old Chinese proverb

“Every path has its puddle”

HUMOROUS:

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally

- W.C. Fields

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winston churchill drunk and a dinner party

"Sir Winston, You are drunk"

churchill replies

"Madam, you are ugly, and in the morning, i will be sober, and you will still ugly."

or however that one goes....

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My favorite quote from the deepest thinkers of the 20th century - Eddy and Patsy: :lol:

Just tax the stupid people!

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In a debate on correct use of language,one speaker declared to Churchill that it was incorrect to end a sentence with a preposition! Churchill immediately replied:

"Sir,that is an imposition up with which I shall not put!"

Some of my favourite quotes are from Dorothy Parker and Groucho Marx.They tend to be aimed at Hollywood:

Groucho M on Doris Day: "I knew her before she became a virgin!"

Dorothy P on Hollywood actresses:

" Katherine Hepburn ran the gamut of the emotions...from A to B!"

"If you laid all the actresses in Hollywood from end to end....I wouldn't be at all surprised!"

"She was the good time that was had by all!"

"You can lead a whore to culture...but you can't make her think!"

:lol:

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Not really a quotation as such as it was never spoken, but I love the line on British comedian Spike Milligans gravestone..."I told you I was ill". I couldn't stop laughing at that one for days. I want that on my grave aswell.

I've posted these before but I simply adore Kenneth Williams quotations, you know the guy with the funny voice off the Carry on movies from the 70's. That guy had truly the best sense of humour ever.

This one just sums Kenneth up in one.

Had Sid, Hattie, Joan, Barbara, Bernard & Charlie around for dinner. They were all perfectly awful except for Barbara whom I love more than anything else in the world, & even she is a stupid cunt.

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Probably the funniest quote I've ever heard came from football manager Ian Holloway after a game, when he said the following:

"To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled.

Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi.

She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee."

Simply priceless.

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“Always forgive your enemies….nothing annoys them so much”

Oscar Wilde

I thought this quote was quite appropriate for these boards!! ;)

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Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous ...."

Sarah Jessica Parker --Carrie Bradshaw Sex and the City

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I found some REally great quotes recently that I wanted to share with you~

Live each day the fullest you can, not guaranteeing there'll be a tomorrow, not dwelling endlessly on yesterday.

Jane Seymour

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Dale Carnegie

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A good quote made by Ray Winstone in a film (think it was 'Truth love and honour' - or something like).

"I'm sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop"

From Ab Fab

Edina, 'Inside this fat person there is a slim person screaming to get out'

Edinas mother 'Just the one dear?'

From Dirty Dancing (3 different quotes)

Johnny - "Nobody puts baby in the corner"

Baby - "I carried a Watermelon!"

Baby - "Me? Im scared of everything! Im scared of what I am, what I saw, what I did but most of all Im scared of walking out if this room and never feeling again the same way I feel when I am with you"

(okay so you need a bucket for the last one!)

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I love the line in Lock Stock where they try to rob the betting shop. I love the attitude of the girl behind the counter and the classic line, when they say that they are not buying what she is telling them.

"Well that's handy, cos I ain't **** ing selling it". The girl has such attitude, it is hilarious.

The girl really reminds me of somebody I used to know.

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[FAMILY GUY QUOTES]

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

(Peter has to come up with a fake name on the spot, so he looks around the room to get inspiration)

Peter Griffin: Uh... my name is...(he sees a pea)

Peter Griffin: Pea... (he sees a woman crying)

Peter Griffin: ... tear... (he sees a Griffin fly by)

Peter Griffin: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin

Meg: I just want to kill myself! I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.

(Lois and Peter stare in silence)

Meg: I'm allergic to peanuts...

(Peter and Lois keep staring)

Meg: You dont know anything about me! (runs upstairs)

Peter: ...who was that guy?

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