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I hate Big Brother Australia with a passion. A PASSION!!!! However a few years back I noticed a Big Brother Canada torrent and thought "hey this may be fun - I love when Canadians do things like they are real people". Lo and behold I loved that wacky Canuck fest (#teamika4life). So anyhow season 4 of BBCan finally finished a few weeks back and those good folk over at survivorsucks suggested BBUK16 was shaping up to be worth a look.

Thus I have binged the last few weeks worth (well 'Difficult People' season 2 was still a month away at that point) and have some thoughts on the housemates. I'm pretty much up to date and yeah - spoilers blah blah blah.

TOP ROW - Emma (and her twin), Sam, Alex, Laura, Jackson, Jayne, Chelsea, Andy, Evelyn

Big-Brother-2016-MAIN.jpg

BOTTOM - Ryan, Natalie, Marco, Lateysha, Jason, FECKING HUGHIE, Georgina, Charlie, Andrew

ALEX - token bit of eye candy. Bland as can be though the producers love to film up his shorts for some reason. Either way I can't really judge him too harshly as I continually forget he is there. Apparently he is a model? With that hair rapidly going he better strike while the going is good.

ANDREW (The Others) - just so full of sh*t. Glad they booted him for being a tool.

ANDY - so self righteous. So full of himself. He'll argue in his condescending little way even when he is wrong that he is in fact right. Obviously intelligent - and happy to let everyone know it. He'll probably win.

CHARLIE (The Others) - JASON IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU YOU STUPID BITCH! Ahem. Sorry. Her constant whining just annoyed the **** out of me. Such a victim. He said the whole way through nothing was happening in the house and yet... yet... it just went on and on... BUH BYE!

CHELSEA - he kind of makes me think he'd be the kind of guy Guy Ritchie would cast in a sequel to 'Snatch' so he can claim diversity. A real stereotype of "new money". "IT WAS JUST A PANCAKE!!!!!" Bye bye douchebag!

EMMA - My early fave. Between her and her twin (um... name?) their delightful ditziness was quite entertaining. For a show or two. The constant escape attempts made great TV until they got her booted.

EVELYN - Aussie slappers represent! So shallow. Her constant moaning about Alex is getting really old. JUST F*CK HIM THEN CRY ABOUT IT FOR A WEEK!

GEORGINA - what a sour cow. So judgy. So pouty. Such a tool. Like she would EVAH date Jackson out there in the real world. Bye! Status loving she-beast.

HUGHIE (The Others) - oh my GAWD!! Serious question - do Irish 'travellers' have to get at least a minimum amount of schooling? Hughie is potentially the dumbest person on TV ever. EVER! From his stupid accent to his droopy eyes and crap fake tan - FUCKIN' HELL HE SHITS ME!!!!! And then he goes and ejaculates on Ryan's face under the doona and all is forgiven. QUALITY TV!!!!!

JACKSON - with Georgina he was pussy whipped. Without her he acts like he is the moral compass of the house. Ridiculous. I look forward to reading about his troubles with the law in a few years time. I'm guessing.... meth addiction.

JASON - he always looks like someone has just kicked his puppy. So sullen. Has he even laughed this season? He just seems to take up space and now Charlie is gone there is no reason for him to be there. BE GONE!!!

JAYNE (The Others) - I don't know. She tries too hard but is so brutally honest it is kind of adorable. Then again she made out with Chelsea... WASH OUT YOUR MOUTH! MOLLY - YOU IN DANGER GIRL!

LATEYSHA - oh Lateysha. How I wish they gave you and GOBSHITE HUGHIE subtitles as I barely understand a word. Nor do I care. I honestly believe that Ryan and her are related - they sound so alike. I love how Andy riles her up and how her breasts seem ready to escape at a seconds notice. Joy.

LAURA - your entire claim to fame is f*cking Marco Pierre White Jnr on international television. NEXT!

MARCO - tool. Douchey Mc Doucherson. This guy has all the confidence in the world but is just trash. A worthy first boot. Thank gawd his fiancee came to her senses and left the boofhead. Ah buh bye. **** tatts too.

NATALIE (The Others) - poor deluded Natalie. She thought people gave a f*ck about her. Nope. So over-opinionated and quick to anger. Great TV though.

RYAN (The Others) - his claim to fame is being spoofed on by F*CKING HUGHIE!!!! And being a weaslly little git.

SAM - the hipster. Who is utterly bland and forgettable. (Are there usually so many gay guys in BBUK each year? Counting Hughie (claims to be bi) there are what... 4?). His accent is grating but he seems very beige and I tend to get surprised hen he gets air time as I forgot he was there.

I HATE THEM ALL SO MUCH!

Anyhow - great season thus far. Is it too much to hope Nikki Graham makes an intruder entry?

By the way - (The Others) is the 6 housemates that were "hidden' within earshot of the original house guests and were folded in when the producers ran out of shady sh*t for them to do.

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I miss Natalie :(

In a way I do too. The conflict was exhausting but also great TV.

I'm sort of hooked on BB-USA (nothing else to do). 2/3rds of the contestants are total nimrods; but one or 2 are gorgeous!!

I've never watched the USA one - however a few have turned up on BBCan and The Amazing Race/Survivor.

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BBUS is a similar format to BBCan. I find the BBUK & BBAUS version so damn boring. The houseguests do pretty much nothing at all the whole time, whereas in the US version you actually have to compete to get the head of household and win safety for the week. Plus the US still gets live feeds.

Either way I'm a bit bored of BB as a whole. Even the Celebrity version doesn't interest me. At least with The Amazing Race you get the contestants going to different places all the time and doing different challenges. BB and Survivor so predictable.

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Right now, aside from BB#18, I am hooked on The Great British Baking Show; The Tunnel (on PBS, I think it showed in 2013 in the UK); and then I subscribe to mHz live streaming and am enjoying Un Village Francais, among their many offerings.

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BBUS is a similar format to BBCan. I find the BBUK & BBAUS version so damn boring. The houseguests do pretty much nothing at all the whole time, whereas in the US version you actually have to compete to get the head of household and win safety for the week. Plus the US still gets live feeds.

Either way I'm a bit bored of BB as a whole. Even the Celebrity version doesn't interest me. At least with The Amazing Race you get the contestants going to different places all the time and doing different challenges. BB and Survivor so predictable.

This series of BBUK (well I assume it is just this season?) they have an 'Annihilation' week where the housemates (and not the public) are basically booting out half the cast. Furthermore they are getting tasks where they have to criticise each other to their faces to see if it matches what the public are saying. It is quite brutal and quite a twist. I prefer the BBCan head of household stuff too however this UK season is zipping along quite nicely and has the added benefit if having the worst TV personality of all time potentially - HUGHIE THE DUMB SHITE!

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On BBUS I support Nicole <3

She was my fave on BB16 too

BBBrasil is great too <3

I'll cast for the 17th season

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