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So. Sex.


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I didn't realise you were a girl. Between you, Pixie-Victoria, Palette and Michelle, I think it's our biggest percentage of female members all around here together at one time. I like that.

I've been lurking here since at least mid-2007... I was reading the boards when Sochi was elected. Looks like I didn't register an account until 2008 though. Anyway. Yeah, not a lot of ladies around!

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Let's just say my number is way higher than I act like it is and I'm not at peace with that.

Lol,this is a precious post by Athensfan :D . You are always calm and logical...but in a couple of years later you can easily forget about those things. An advice from me.

I didn't realise you were a girl. Between you, Pixie-Victoria, Palette and Michelle, I think it's our biggest percentage of female members all around here together at one time. I like that.

I'm glad to hear I've been sorted into girls or female :D . Thanks.

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You know. How many people had she had sex with before him. That got me to thinking - it shouldn't matter how many people you knocked boots with as long as the person you are in a relationship with is the latest one in the line up (unless you are in an open relationship).

See guys - that was my point. Previous "activities prior to commitment" can skew the results. Should you feel bad for being the town tramp if you have calmed dramatically down in the last few years/decades? Bit of a weird conundrum/double standard...

Relating to Puppy's original point - does monogamy work? Is it "natural" once you are partnered up? Has anyone here "cheated" on a significant other, with or without permission? (and yeah, some people may not wish to reveal, but some just may).

Okay, for me. My partner and I had originally an open relationship - not that rare in the gay sphere. We still have, in name, really, but as I mentioned, I haven't taken advantage of that for a long time, and I think he's been the same. The thing is, from at least my point of view, it was fine to me as long as I thought it was just a physical encounter (though even then I wouldn't want to hear the gory details of his exploits).

But it did raise strong hurts when any hint of any emotional attachment outside he marital bed surfaced. I felt far more cheated on to think he would share emotional intimacies rather than just the pure physical act. At the end, it did force us to re-visiot the matter, work through issues, and ultimately re-commit to each other. But it meant we had to insist that if either of us strayed again (not saying we will, just if), we would adopt the "don't bring your takeaway home, and don't go back for second servings" rule.

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To Pups' point.... one I dated was horribly jealous of anyone I had ever slept with (even if it was once, years ago) and maintained friendship or contact -- despite my explanation that in all cases it was decided early on that we'd make better friends than lovers, he would not calm down, and I was not about to abandon good friends that I've had for years. History is history, some personalities are more "addiction prone" than others. Some people say "once a cheater, always a cheater", but for me it boils down to the circumstances. Some people put themselves in the same circumstances over and over again. Some people cheat once, reconcile and life moves on. Even further back in my history, I was guilty of the cheating-to-get-back-at-the-cheater.

I hate the idea of an "open relationship" but seeing so many of my friends in couples where one just needs it more than the other is comfortable giving, I can't refuse it if it's the only sticking point.... as Rols said, physical only, no attachment.... I think the not going back is key.

And I've lost count. Ten years out on the "market" and three "relationships", none lasting longer than 10 months.... gives a lot of opportunities for "casual encounters".

I just looked back and saw all my "air quotes". :blink:

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