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whose speed skating team is hotter?  

8 members have voted

  1. 1. whose speed skating team is more smokin'? how many times do i have to write this thing out? jesus.

    • team canada
    • team united states of america


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spending my time very productively today, i have compiled 20 of the sorta hottest speedskaters from both teams. PLEASE vote on the overall hotness of the team. alternately, if there is one team member who you just have to have, that's ok too.

the drawback of this thread is the lack of thighs, of course. i am aware of the problem but you will just have to oogle thighs on your own time. this is a family website.

oh, and no, i don't have NAMES. no one knows their names unless they just won a gold yesterday. prolly faster thinks he does.

faster what do you think?

TEAM USA

ss-usa.jpg

TEAM CANADA

ss-can.jpg

ps: SOME of team canada may not be still on team canada because google gave me a 2010 list before i corrected it. please let's not get pedantic.

pps: i also wrote this itinerary of what a speedskater does all day for an alternate thread i was going to do, until i decided on the poll. i'll just include it here. 'cause, well, bullet points, that's why.

  • wake up at 5 am sharp
  • throw on spandex, cycle around the suburbs where you own a pretty nice three bedroom, $450,000 house, mostly paid for by the home depot ad you did in 2010
  • have a delicious hydrolyzed whey protein and casein shake
  • warm up for a bit, probably to U2 and nine inch nails
  • resistance + cardio & cooldown - throw on some adele
  • bullet points!! seriously, where have they been all my life?
  • drive to the rink in your prius (too much equipment to bike). if you're american you prolly have to drive a ford 'cause of sponsors and stuff (sux). if you're canadian, well, you ride your skiing moose, obvs.
  • sprints or stamina around the track for a bit. get a peptalk with your pricey coach for a bit (you're on the team, so you don't pay). listen to how he cinched a bronze in the 84 worlds for like the billionth time.
  • lean chicken and vegetables (read: chicken mcnuggets) + shake with lots of acronymed ingredients. mcdonald's pays your bills, but you would never actually admit you eat it.
  • squats and stuff with pals, but really just chatting it up. work a bit harder when the coach comes in.
  • hit the ice again to cool down. really just dream about beating china next time.
  • go home and update your ipod workout playlist. less leona lewis tomorrow.
  • admire your hotness in the mirror. practice various witty lines to say to bob costas on tv in case you win a medal next time. make that teeth whitening appointment for next week, just in case (americans only).

plus you get to train and race with the team and stuff.

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I would've voted Canada, until I realised there was more facial hair on them - not a fan of stubble rash (don't they sell razor blades in Canada - or does the cold blunt the blades too much?). I prefer their black shirts, though.

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The American at the top (also known as the Black Guy) is Shani Davis, very noticeable by the fact that he's the only African American on that team.

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four votes?

this is a poor showing, even for a forum no one reads.

should i have done USA vs australia shirtless swimmers instead?

baffling.

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america wins overall for the girls, if you guys just want me to tell you the answer.

i feel like we should have discussed this at great and exhaustive length, but there you go. it's been revealed. yes, the first canadian on the second row is certainly sexable, but everyone who voted canada is wrong.

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